Tonight on CBS an all new episode of Two and A Half Men airs. The episode is called ‘Thanks for the Intercourse.’ Every week I swear I’m not watching the show any more, because it’s all about Walden’s manhood – but here I am still watching! If you want a sneak peek about tonight’s show or missed an episode, click HERE.

On last week’s episode Jake developed a crush on his Japanese tutor and no surprise with the way the show is going lately (ya know, it’s all about Walden), the tutor had a crush on Walden. Rumours are that on next week’s show Gary Busey will guest star as himself. Gary will be playing a patient that Alan (Jon Cryer) winds up sharing a room with at a mental facility.

Here’s our recap: Walden wakes up and starts singing jingles that Charlie had written and brings back some fond memories for Alan. Walden says he didn’t realize that his brother was a genius and Alan says he managed to live 44 years screwing everything in site and not getting a venereal disease. The two keep singing jingles back and forth which inspires Alan to go to the piano and sing some on his own until Walden comes in singing again. The doorbell rings and two movers arrive to pick up the piano, Walden closes the door quickly to explain to Alan. But, Alan tells Walden that piano means a lot to him and Walden is forced to tell him that he donated the piano to a school for underpriveledged children. Alan starts to clean out the piano and finds amongst other things, a vibrator.

When the men attempt to take the piano, Alan throws himself across it and freaks out. Walden tries to pry Alan from the piano while he’s screaming. Later that night, Jake gets home and notices the piano gone and his dad tells him that Walden is redecorating. Alan confides in Jake that he misses his brother Charlie. Jake confesses that he misses him too but would loosen up better if he had a beer. Jake asks why Charlie didn’t leave him anything and Alan said if it doesn’t matter, that is not what is important. Jake says Charlie taught him a few things “if it doesn’t fit don’t stick anything in it”, “if it is burning, oozing or itching see a doctor rigfht away” and the most important thing that he learned is that by the time he is Charlie’s age, he wants to be married and have a family because he thinks Charlie was lonely. Jake asks his dad if he can have the number for his doctor, he wants him on speed dial in case he needs him, he wants to be able to get him asap.

Alan goes to the bar and orders a bourbon, the same drink that Charlie used to like. Walden walks in and orders a ginger ale, he gets it right away and Alan is still waiting for his drink. The female bartender hits on Walden (what a surprise, zzz) and offers him breakfast in bed! A girl sits behind Alan and hits on Walden, asks Alan “Who is your friend?” Alan replies, “A raging phsycopath with chloroform”.

When they get home and Walden takes the girl up to his room, Alan says ” I couldn’t score a girl like that if my semen cured cancer”. (disgusting, the writers can’t find something really funny to say than to downplay a deadly disease?)

Later that night, Alan is reminising about Charlie when a women appears chasing after her dog and he hits on her with a renewed confidence and introduces himself as Charlie Harper.

The next morning, Walden walks down with the girl from the bar and thanks her for the intercourse, then he says “Mr.Penis is happy, now it is time to take care of Mr. Stomach”.

Walden asks Berta how she feels about casual sex and she says she’s all for it. Alan wakes up, pours himself a bourbon and waves goodbye to the girl with dog as she is leaving. Walden asks Berta if Alan is prone to mental breakdowns. Alan catches Jake and his tutor making out and sits beside them to give them advice about what will happen if they continue, “bun in the oven”.

Jake approaches Walden and tells him that he is worried is father is acting and dressing like his uncle Charlie.

Walden goes to speak to Alan and tells him that people are worried about him, Alan replies “people are worried about me because of how cool I am”.  Walden asks what his name is and Alan responds, Charlie Harper. Later when Walden is in the shower and singing jingles, Alan gets in the shower with him and Alan tells him he has a nice penis, asks him why he is in the shower and Walden answers, “because it’s my show”, which Alan replies “we can agree to disagree on that”. (lame)

Later, Walden take Alan for a drive and tells him it’s the back entrance to the Bellagio. Two men with white coats greet him and bring him into the “nut house”, Walden has admitted him.

Alan is in the hospital and still thinks he is Charlie Harper, he calls the ‘pretend’ front desk asks them to bring him a bucket of ice and two Asian hookers, then he puts his arms behind his head, stretches out and says “winning”.

Damn, this show is getting so lame, I can’t believe I watch it every week – they should rename it to “Two and Half Porn”.