Stacy Keibler and George Clooney had food poisoning. This is akin to the toilet you met once after a night of getting too drunk with a man named Gunther who bought you tequila shots and sauerkraut. That is how bad food poisoning is. Never had it? Try eating the calamari you left out in the sun for a few days and you’ll be running quicker than a man chased by Robert Downey Jr. when he was still crazy.

George, Stacy and some future ex-friends (pooping like that scene in Bridesmaids seems to end friendships) dropped by a restaurant in Cernobbio on the 4^th of July and they definitely celebrated more than US independence.  The next day Stacy tweeted, “Finally had a bad meal in Italy, our whole dinner party got food poisoning ‪#ohwell at least I’m still in Italy.”

Ah, Italia, the land of pizza, pasta and food poisoning.

TMZ reports that their sources who were there that night (isn’t paparazzi Italian?) said that everyone in the party got sick. How wonderful!

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No-one ended up in hospital (only crying in the bath for obvious reasons). They were lucky. Once upon a time, not too long ago, I went on a camp with Johnny Speckles (yes that was his last name). He ate a hot dog for din-din, but little did poor Johnny know that the hot dog he munched down was a theme park for tiny little bacteria families and their kids. Poor Johnny lost his spectacles on his way running to a bush behind the Blair Witch tree. They found him three days later crying in the wind and wiping his drool with poison ivy. Johnny was never the same again after that.

Food poisoning isn’t funny. No, really, it isn’t.