Sunday’s edition of The Real Housewives of New Jersey took a much needed closer look at Joe and Melissa Gorga’s marriage.
Melissa knows which of Joe’s buttons to push in order to make him pant like a woman with a midlife crisis who watched too many episodes of Days of Our Lives. Melissa happily proclaimed, “The key to a successful marriage is to have sex every day.”
In one, very awkward instance, Melissa and Joe were sitting by a pool. Melissa was wearing a red hot bathing suit while Joe confessed to his wife that he “was having a moment” and that he couldn’t move. We all know what that points to, don’t we?
Along with having sex every day, Melissa also revealed that her husband is obsessed with the colour red, “That’s his color, that’s his thing and every time I put red on, he goes crazy!”
Joe said, “You don’t understand what the colour red does to me…”
Is it just us or do you also hear the sound of a neurotic psychologist fiddling with a colour test?
“Red points to scary sex. Blue points to childhood issues. Green points to the colour of bunnies when they boil.”
In the rest of the episode we had the opportunity to see several of the cast members take the stage at Beatbox, an annual music and dance festival, where Teresa Giudice and Melissa will be performing this year. Sounds like that holiday we had in high school when our deaf aunt and her neighbour sang the Titanic theme song until our ears exploded.
Thank you, Melissa and Joe, now we also know the key to a successful marriage – awkward poolside moments and the inability to stand up due to a-
Well, you caught the drift earlier on, no need for us to repeat it.